When You Bump Into Your Ex

Jack and Louise are my friends and they were a couple once. Somehow they met each other surprisingly yesterday on a walking path and their conversation was like this.

Louise: hey

Jack: Hi

Louise: How are you?

Jack: Yeah, I’m good, I’m good
How are you?

Louise: yeah I'm,, I’m good yeah.
So how are things?

Jack: Yeah, good yeah

 

Louise: How is Sarah?

Jack: um…
oh she's OK….yeah
It’s nice to see you. 

Louise: Yes, It’s nice to see you.

 

Then they hugged and left each other. While they go they look back at their ex again.

After a while, both of my friends called me.

Jack and my conversation was like this,                                       

Me: Hey Jack

Jack: I saw her today
it feels like it’s been forever

She looks even better than before.

I asked her how things were going, I don’t know, how could I tell her that I’m not going out with this girl anymore?  

Whenever I look at her I just feel like crying. I miss her, and I told her that I meant it.       

I really love her and I feel like I’ve lost her.                     

When I held her and we hugged, that was the last time I held her.   

When I got home Sam, I just like, I just sat in my room and just started crying.

I’ve lost her.

Louise and my Conversation was like this, 

Me: Hey Louise

Louise: I need to tell you this, I saw him today.

I don’t even think he thinks about me anymore.

I couldn’t stop staring at him.

I asked about his new girlfriend.

He must be really happy with her

He didn’t even look at me.

he told me that he miss me but I know he didn’t mean it though.

He’s in love with that other girl.

Then we had like a friendly hug.

I just went home and I cried.

 

I asked both of them to come to visit me at the same time and I gave my advice to them, 

 

Me: I'm so glad that you both called me. It’s amazing, when I spoke to both of you, I realised that you felt the same way internally but you completely miscommunicated and misread each other's feelings externally.

Often what happens is we project our own perceptions and insecurities onto the other person. We end up believing our own assumptions rather than the reality of the situation.

We’re so scared of opening up, we're so fearful of being vulnerable because we might fall, because we might get rejected. But what if that's what kept you two apart, what if that was the reason that you never realized that you both felt the same way?

Would it then be worth the same thing? Would you then feel the same way that it was good that you stayed closed and you didn't express how you really felt?

In this way I find that so many people are together but not in love and I find that so many people are in love but not together and remember, we never see things as they are, we see things as we are

 

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